It is noon on a Tuesday and I'm drinking a beer. I'm an adult male, 27 years of age. I am employed full-time and have been so for over five years. I am married, a home-owner, and relatively responsible when it comes to matters of adult life. I do not have any children. I have two cats.
Certain events have transpired over the last three days, leading me to this scenario. I will describe them in full below. It is also worth noting that, of course, this entire thing is self-fulfilling exercise of delusion. I am home alone, and the thought of having a beer at noon connotes a certain charm. It feels somewhat forbidden and against the rules, and as a result of those feelings, exciting. I also have, in the form of an outlet at BeerGraphs, a tailor-made excuse at the ready to enable such behavior. I'm being productive! I'm exercising my writing muscles! To not drink a quality craft beer of my choosing while home alone at noon on a Tuesday would be to deprive myself a creative outlet and the profound sense of personal satisfaction that comes along with a completed and published blog post. I did not choose these actions and this prompt—I was compelled by duty in service of them.
What Happened Sunday
One of our cats started peeing outside of his liter box. My wife and I had begun to notice stray urine around the area outside of the cat bathroom. We found a small puddle of piss in the tile entryway of our house. Liter was everywhere, as if a cat had been continually entering and then exiting the box, attempting to use the facilities but unable to do so. We looked at the internet and then called a local vet. We packed up our cat into his portable carrier with some difficulty and took him to be examined. He has crystals in his pee, making it very painful to go to the bathroom, hence the strange behavior.
Our cat could no longer trust the one thing in this world that he trusted most. I understood his distress. We were given antibiotics, pain medication, an IV bag of hydrating fluid, and new cat food. The vet and her assistants showed us personally how to administer the various treatments and we were spared from having to attempt them ourselves. For the time being. When we came home, our other cat did not recognize the smell of his brother. He became defensive and angry. He hissed and growled and swiped at his ailing friend, the two now strangers. The owners of these cats despaired. The brothers were separated, with one sleeping in the master bedroom of the house with the door closed all night, an uncommon and unwelcome occurrence. The owners of this cat did not sleep well.
What Happened Yesterday
My wife had important things happening at her place of work, and with the threat of rogue bathroom locations and potential damage to pets and property as a result of feline fisticuffs, I volunteered to stay home during the day in order to supervise behavior and direct medications. The afflicted cat was crying and wailing in the morning, and so he was given a pain medication, the liquid shot from an open syringe onto the tissue of the gums, able to seep into the bloodstream easily. This experience was unpleasant for all involved, but not especially difficult. The medicated cat slunk under the bed and his pupils grew very large. Later in the day, it was time for the cat to eat and then receive antibiotics.
The antibiotics are administered in the same way as the pain medication, only it is paramount that the cat ingests the liquid fully. This requires a great deal of patience and fortitude, as the cat needs to be forcibly restrained, and the medicine shot into the back of his throat. The cat does not care to be restrained, or for things to be shoved into his mouth against his will, or to have a strange tasting substance violently expelled against his tongue. The cat struggled, cried, made soul-shattering noises.
Both cat and owner were noticeably shaken and traumatized by the time the deed was done. A dose of medicine had missed the mark and been wasted, only elongating the interspecies agony. The IV fluid was pumped into the cat in the afternoon, the hope being that extra hydration will better dilute the cat's urine and make going to the bathroom easier and more comfortable. The IV fluid was pumped into the cat by way of the cat's owner grabbing the loose area found on the back of the cats neck and inserting a two-inch long needle under the cat's skin. The fluid is then released from the bag by loosening a plastic clamp, with two-hundred milliliters of fluid needing to settle inside of the cat. This particular procedure was quite challenging to execute alone, with the cat wriggling away and removing the needle before the required dosage was met. After this, the owner of the cat experienced a great deal of sadness and panic, he wanted to cry but could not find the tears to do so. The liquid left the cat disfigured, a large hunch formed above his shoulders. No one was happy about this.
The second round of antibiotics proved much easier to administer later in the evening, when both owners were home and able to work together. The cat made strange noises and peed on the floors and furniture without warning. Rugs and mats were removed from the living area. The other cat continued his assault on his sick friend. His sick friend was confused, betrayed. The other cat once again slept with his owners.
What is Happening Today
I'm staying home again. The cat has received his morning antibiotics. The two cats seem to be getting along better, with one under and the other on top of the bed. It's not yet time for the IV fluid. I'm going to drink a fucking beer.
I'm going to drink a fucking Rumble IPA from Great Divide Brewing Company. This IPA has been aged in oak barrels, and contains 7.1% alcohol by volume. The beer comes from Colorado and there's a bull on the label. The cap on the bottle reads "Great Minds Drink Alike."
Appearance: 4.25 / Pours a very pleasing amber hue, transparent yet substantial. A light head with moderate lacing.
Smell: 3.5./ Malt, oak, caramel and booze. Light hops.
Taste: 4.00 / Noticeable taste of oak, which is a positive for this reviewer. A malty backbone followed by nutty sweetness with a slightly bitter and hoppy finish. Balanced.
Feel: 2.75 / Medium bodied and carbonated, yet a bit too sticky and lingering for my taste.
Overall: 3.75 / A great tasting beer that I would be happy to buy and drink again, especially if available as a six-pack. It is very likely that I will never enjoy a Rumble IPA more than I do at this very moment.
Real Time Cat Status Update
The sick cat has removed himself from under the bed and is now laying underneath the computer desk near my feet. I have placed a towel in his vicinity in hopes that he will crawl on top of it in the event of more unpredictable urinary behavior.