There were many awards given out at this year’s Festival of Wood and Barrel Aged Beers (aka FoBAB). To see a list of awards bestowed by the official judges, you can check out this link, but we at BarelyBeer are only just barely concerned with the rulings of official judges, as evidenced by our proclivity to partake in such activities as driving into a field and drinking a Double Jack.
So while at this festival, I decided to take a simple one-question poll of all the people in attendance who were willing to acknowledge my existence, and use the results of said poll to consider giving out an award and not actually follow through on doing so. That one question was this:
“What is your favorite beard that you’ve seen here so far?”
And oh, how those people spoke! Top answers were as follows:
“I think mine is actually pretty good.” - One gentleman whose beard actually was pretty good and at least three others whose beards weren’t actually that good.
"Yours is actually pretty great.” (In reference to the beard which is sported by our rugged author) - The best person at the whole festival.
"That guy with the fro has a pretty big beard, down to like here."
"There's a guy with a bunch of tattoos whose beard is pretty long, but not that full."
"I think mine is up there, honestly. I'm kinda surprised. I expected there to be more beardly competition." - The guy with a bunch of tattoos whose beard was pretty long but not that full.
"Eh, I don't care, I don’t really like beards much anyway." - Person who was promptly and forcibly removed from the premises.
“It’s a 300-way tie!” - This person, probably:
Perhaps next year you too will grow a beard and join the beer/beard festivities.
Josh Augustine sometimes mentions beer and baseball and other strange things on Twitter, and somewhat reliably informs the world what he's drinking on untappd.
Image of beer-sipping bearded gentleman snapped by author with subject's permission.