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Quick Hits: Intangible Ales' Future Primitive

J. R. Shirt, March 03, 2015 -   

Are we all enslaved by technology? Impoverished by centralized government and a hierarchy of constructed employment? Has the Internet and a world of pocket-sized computers finally pushed us all so far into the faceless ether of personal possessions and home offices that there is no hope for a reversal?

When I think of our world as one that is accelerating towards the event horizon of our souls existing only in wires, I can't help but picture a young Charlton Heston, that sandy beach, and that leaning, half buried, Statue of Liberty.

And so I ask -- will the apes rise up, form there own class structure, and become what they destroyed? Who then will rise up and in turn, bring them down? Will it be us, forced to hide from our primate oppressors and return to the ways of our ancestors, to reconnect with nature? Or will it be something else? Maybe ferns? Or dogs?

Full Disclosure: I have only seen the first Planet Of The Apes (the original), as well as the Rise of The Planet Of the Apes reboot from a few years ago, so I am not entirely sure how it all plays out in the end.

Logically, bananas would be the obvious choice to make the push for nice things and overtake the apes. However, I just can't envision a scenario where bananas are able to rise up against, well, anything. Do they shed their peels and stand naked and watch as the apes slip and slide to the demise of their entire society? Now, if the bananas would have the foresight to stage such a coupe near the edge of a cliff, then I would say this plan has potential. But barring the apes performing strange experiments on bananas that increases their ability to reason, I do not see the banana as a fruit with a ton of foresight.

Let's be honest, when I see a banana I am more likely to think foreskin than foresight. But you show me a carrot, granted it's a vegetable and not a fruit, and I might think sight due to the supposed benefits of eating carrots. And then show me four carrots, and well, you see what's happening here. 

Quick Hits:

Future Primitive (the beer by Intangible Ales) is a robust, all brett fermented farmhouse ale.

Intangible Ales is the project of Pizza Boy's head brewer Terry Hawbaker (I am currently drinking Pizza Boy's Eternal Sunshine, a dry hopped sour, and it is a delight.).

Future Primitive (the Anarcho-Primitivist essay and ideology) is a call for the return to the hunter-gather lifestyle, to a time when we were more wild, connected to nature, and kind, as opposed to our current shackles of domestication, agriculture, government, and money.

Future Primitive (the beer) packs a big citrus bite on the front end followed by dry, lemon rind, big funk flavors in the finish. In a word, the feel is lush.

I have no idea if the beer is named after the essay. However, it might be fitting considering the wild aspects of the beer.

The Quick Hits portion is now over (because by nature, Quick Hits are over quickly).

Future Primitive and several other Pizza Boy beers, including Eternal Sunshine, will be poured at Tørst, in Brooklyn, this Thursday, March 5th. The event starts at noon and will also feature pours of the Abascio-Cell wine barrel aged wild ales, which is exciting because those bottles typically have a price point of $30 or more and so the opportunity to try them without putting out for the full bottle is a welcome option.

Then, this Saturday, March 7th, Intangible Ales will be releasing Acidulated Hive, a tart honey farmhouse ale brewed with Orange Blossom honey and fermented with brettanomyces. The release is happening at Pizza Boy Brewing, located at Al's of Hampden in Enola, PA, from 11 to 3pm. The 750mL bottles will be sold for $12. To put that price in context, I spent $20 on the Future Primitive bomber and $9.50 on the Eternal Sunshine bomber at my local bottle shop. The Future Primitive sold for $10 at it's brewery release.

Future Primitive, Intangible Ales (7.2% ABV)

Appearance = 5/5

Hazy golden. Slightly pale and yet somehow glowing. A finger of white head off the pour, retains a nice layer, with bubbles stacking up along the sides.

Smell = 4.5/5

Citrus, yeast, sugary lemon, grass, and floral, maybe juniper.

Taste = 4.25/5

Whoa. Citrus bite, and then some funky tartness, which goes by quick. All followed by a big, dry, lemon rind, funk finish.

Feel = 4.25/5

Crisp and bubbley, but not overly so. Medium body overall, with a juice-like quality up front that dries out and becomes a funk cloud in the finish.

Overall = 4.25/5

This one brings the funk. Quite enjoyable but might be tough if your not a fan of funkier farmhouse ales.

Follow J. R. Shirt on Twitter and Untappd @beeronmyshirt. When he isn't writing about bananas, he hosts the Drinking With Shirt podcast with his brother T-Bone. Listen here at Beergraphs or on iTunes.

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