How Bad Could It Be?

Jeffrey Wiser, September 05, 2013

The Legendary Alex Fossi recently wrote a great piece for this very website. He took an unconventional look at our leaderboards, focussing on the bottom of the list rather than the top. In case you missed it and are too damned lazy to click on the link above, he arrived at the conclusion that the Botswain Double IPA is indeed the worst beer in our rankings. Naturally, I decided to test this hypothesis. How bad could it be? Pretty damn bad, it turns out.

Let me just preface this by saying that I really like good beer. If I didn't, I wouldn't write for BeerGraphs. But I'm also a firm believer in being thankful for the good things in life. Occasionaly, it's important to put things into perspective before one gets carried away. Drinking this beer made me realize how incredible of a thing good beer really is. 

I stumbled upon this garbage in a bottle at my local Trader Joe's and although it's a 22oz brew, it's reasonably priced at $1.99. That's too much money given the quality of the beer, but it's cheap for the perspective it provides. Think of it as an investment in making the others beers of your life taste better, because really, that's the only logical way to stomach this thing the folks at Rhinelander Brewing call a beer.

I popped the top of this bad boy and poured some of it into a small glass. Why a small glass? I wasn't sure how much I would want to drink. Although it was unshaken, the beer foamed up big time. A sniff of the foam made me pull my face away. I couldn't figure out exactly what I was smelling, but it wasn't the normal aromas of beer and it wasn't particularly pleasing. 

The taste wasn't any better, in fact, it was considerably worse. I shouted "Holy @*#$!" as I took my first sip. My wife, working in the other room, crooned around and hollared for my safety. "I'm fine," I said, "it's just that this beer is incredibly awful!" Logically, she said, "Then why are you drinking it?" Illogically, I replied, "Because I've heard that it's terrible." Well, it really was terrible.

  • Appearance: an orangeish amber with a ton of foam when poured (2.5)
  • Smell: sweet but not distincly hoppy, floral or citrusy. Some alcohol smell and a fragrance of forgotten fruit (2)
  • Taste: like rotten nectar with an alcohol aftertaste. Will make you really question the decision to put it in your mouth (.5)
  • Mouthfeel: smooth with a lingering aftertaste that you wish would just go away (1.5)
  • Overall: really, really bad. No element of this beer is pleasing and it's clearly the worst thing I've ever drank (1.5)

Although I poured the beer into a small glass, I didn't have the courage to finish it. After a few sips to get my tasting notes done, it was all I could stomach and I poured the beer right where it belonged: down the drain. For a few minutes after the tasting I couldn't help but think about how truly awful the beer was. It's shittiness really blew my mind. The Botswain Double IPA is really breathtakingly bad, to the point that it's hard to describe.

Do yourself a favor, go pick up a bottle of this witch's brew. Subject yourself to as much as you can handle, rinse with water, then immediately switch to the beer of your choice. Odds are, your preferred beverage will taste exceedingly good. This dose of liquid perspective is the only reason I can think of for drinking this madness in a bottle.