Making Nothing Out of Nothing, or Dry-Hopping a Corona

Eno Sarris, February 19, 2014

I'm going to start with an excuse. My mesh bags are with the home-brew equipment at my wife's aunt's house. So...

Also: it's important to note that the only thing wasted was a single Corona, which in my life almost has negative value. So no good beers were harmed in this experiment.

Let's back up. We're getting a new fridge here at BGHQ, the last one had done its duty but because of a malfunction in the freezer was freezing all of our food. Plus, in the future we'll be able to get water without opening the fridge which is crazy talk.

Anyway, in emptying out the fridge, we found some hops in the freezer and some Corona in the back of the crisper. The match was so obvious that the idea flew out of my mouth before I could stop it because what does my wife care about me dry-hopping a Corona. Well that's a little unfair, she smelled the cascade and rolled her eyes at me when I said it was important research, which is about as good a response as I could get for an expression of beer nerdery like that.

But yeah, the mesh bags aren't here, and I didn't feel like getting them, so I found the finest mesh tea strainer we had and went for it. At first, it looked grand. See the picture above! It's bubbling. THIS IS SCIENCE. Maybe through the benefits of science I could take a $1.25 beer and add $0.25 of hops and get something that tasted like a $2 beer!

By the end, it was obvious that I had figured nothing out. This was now a $0.25 beer somehow. Less than the sum of its parts.

Well, I remember better what cascade smells like. And I appreciate the need for fine mesh. And I still don't like Corona. And I'm not sure I'll try this again, but maybe I will, with better tools. A scientist is only as good as their tools, is that how the expression goes?

Corona, Dry-Hopped with Cascade Hops

Appearance = 1/5

Totally a lager, but bubbling like all get-out.

Smell = 3/5

Hey! Grapefruit, and a bit of pine, and hey wait uh-oh, some grass already.

Taste = 1/5

At first, it was like a Corona with just a bit of hops. Reminiscent of a light pilsner maybe. After a bit, there was a tiny bit of bite. After another half hour, it was all grass. Damn. The hops had made the beer green. It was through the filter. Just a mouth of grass beer.

Mouthfeel = 0/5

At first, it was too thin even when it was pilsner-like. Then it was thick like a mouthful of grassy sweater while being tackled by your overzealous cousin in a spring football game.

Overall = 1/5

At least it smelled okay?