Brief Timelines: Beergraphs/Fangraphs Meet-up, Chicago

Alex Fossi, July 19, 2013

All times EST.

18 July:
4:03 AM: J.R. Shirt's alarm fails to sound.  
4:33 AM: Shirt wakes up, unaided by alarm.  Regrets actions of the previous night, re: chicken wings.
4:43 AM: Shirt departs from Philadelphia.  At approximately the same time, Josh Augustine departs from Omaha.
11:55 AM: Augustine consumes sausage in preparation for meet-up; quantity reported to be roughly a half pound.
3:44 PM: Eno Sarris arrives at the meet-up. Acquires beer, specifically: Goose Island Cucumbersome.
4:01 PM: Sarris is on beer #3.
4:03 PM: Shirt realizes Chicago is in a different time zone from Philadelphia.  Shirt and Michael Donato engage in existential crisis regarding time zones and past selves.
4:39 PM: Carson Cistulli and Mike Bates fail to arrive to the meet-up on time. Cistulli cites "poor judgment" on Bates' part.
6:10 PM: Bates expresses an extreme dislike of "fucking Chicago" and the traffic thereof.
6:46 PM: Shirt arrives at the meet-up.  Acquires beer, specifically: Commodore Perry IPA.
8:44 PM: Bates and Cistulli confirmed to be present at the meet-up.
9:33 PM: Alex Fossi drinks a beer at his home in Philadelphia, cold, tired, and alone, according to unconfirmed reports.
UNKNOWN TIME: Shirt befriends trivia lady.  Falls asleep.  May or may not have word written on forehead, specifically: "Balls".
UNKNOWN TIME: Sarris struck ("field goaled") in the "biscuits" by one Dayn Perry.
UNKNOWN TIME: Sarris sends text to Cistulli, specifically: "good night my love".  Intended recipient presently unknown.

19 July:
6:31 AM: Augustine awakens, finds himself cuddling four (4) bottles of Firestone Walker Double Jack.
8:07 AM: Shirt awakens, realizes he fell asleep at the bar (if you are Shirt's wife, this item is false).
9:51 AM: Augustine and Shirt engage in a brief debate about what to have for breakfast.  Waffles conclusively demonstrated to be a poor choice.  Reports unclear regarding whether Firestone Walker Double Jack is a better choice.